Small Acts of Kindness

I wanted to get a watch repaired today. It was a minor repair, the technician did it for free. I am very happy about this, he actually enhanced my day.

Now, we may say that we must all engage in such small acts of kindness - we call them small because maybe they cost us less effort. But I am thinking that no act can really be 'small' because the decision to engage in any kindness is always a BIG thing, especially when we are all living with a belief of scarcity of everything we have.

For example, insisting that the vendor accept more than he has charged us, because he has wrongly calculated the prices. Maybe he undercharged me by a very small amount (as in today's case), or undercharged a big sum (as in yesterday's waterbottles' case). I stood to gain in both scenarios. But it took me courage to decide against my autotendency to let the calculating mistakes be so that I benefited from it. It is THAT decision that was big.

Another thing- the guy who presses our clothes, today, would have made a loss of just 2 bucks had I not insisted on the right bill. The fact that a customer chose to be honest for his interest, must have touched him a great deal.

So an act of kindness is big, if the courage or values behind it are big, and if the result is big. And in most cases, this is so.

If you engage in any kindness, pat yourself. It is a big deal. And if someone's been kind to you, don't take that lightly either.

Rabbit! Rabbit!

My muffs have been a source of smiles today.

I was wearing them as I just stepped into the Metro, and I heard a small child's loud voice, "Rabbit! Rabbit!" I found all eyes on me, lots of giggles and the child still wondering how I had rabbits on my ears :)

These muffs are rather cute-looking, and with my short hair-do, they actually make me look like a baby. Very comfortable. LOL.

When I eventually edged towards the seat and did find one soon enough, the child began pointing to the bunnies again! I called the child near, put my muffs around her and she was very happy! But in an instant, she removed them, handed them to her mom, who taught her to return them to me with a thank you. This 3 yr old did as told in a very sweet voice. Oh, the innocence of some kids!

Just before that, 2 senior tourists stepped in and caught my eye, they smiled warmly (people of other countries smile very easily at strangers, as Meghu tells me) and then mouthed "Very nice" pointing at my muffs.

All through my journey, my earmuffs kept me warm and kept others amused. I am happy about it!!

What a day!

Meghu and I celebrated the new year's eve a day earlier. It was an excellent day financially. There's much to feel happy for:

1. The wonderful fruits I bought today morn.
2. My period that is not only on time, but also a good one.
3. Meghu agreed to come with me to the malls.
4. Meghu bought the veggies and the groceries all at once.
5. Could do 2 sets of laundry in the morning.
6. Was looking good :) today
7. The curd isn't exactly ruined. Wise decision to wait and watch.
8. Meghu had 2 oranges and gave himself some roughage (good boy)
9. Could find a GOOD autorickshaw to go to the Malls. Spent much lesser.
10. Our waterbottles came at a staggering discount! I was so delighted, I danced in public :D
11. Bought very cute ear-muffs which my kids at the school and elder sister will love. They are two bunnies jutting out at either end of the muffs. For a cool discount too, this one.
12. A very old movie we bought to celebrate the day and the year-end. Hope it is worth watching.
13. The most unbelievable waist coat I bought at 70% discount, which made item no.14 possible!
14. Another waistcoat of a completely different style that came at 60% discount.
15. The coolest fact that my latest Translation assignment could pay for the muffs and the 2 waistcoats entirely.

The day also included distributing 4 sweaters. We were at a traffic light, saw some beggars and urchins as usual. Gave a sweater to one, and immediately repented. A whole group gathered around us, annoying the driver no end, and exasperating us too. Even when we were done giving the other 3 away, some beggars hung about, arguing, requesting, snatching the empty paper bag and eventually tearing it. One boy even came back almost angrily complaining that we gave him an empty paper bag!

Meghu is most unhappy. He has decided that we will henceforth carry only one sweater (3 more remain) every outing so that our giving and their receiving is more graceful, marked by a conversation, even if it just a 'thanks' from the other person, or a 'bless you' from us.

I agree with him completely.

Prayers have worked

The source of a dozen sweaters who was hospitalised a few days ago, has just gone through a successful surgery. Prayers of relatives, friends, well-wishers have worked. His own strong will to get back to life has worked. And the hoped-for blessings from the beneficiaries of the sweaters might have worked too.

Tomorrow we will take a few more sweaters to the needy. Hopefully, the Universe will bring such people to our notice who are genuinely in need of warmth, and not hungry for just about anything free that comes their way.

When Giving goes Viral

Meghu has talked about this to me. I have seen a few videos on this before. It is about how someone can start a chain reaction of giving.

I unwittingly participated in one in a short episode on the Delhi Metro a few weeks ago.

After work, I had just boarded the Metro back home, quite tired, frustrated and irritated. It was a peak hour and I wasn't hoping to find a seat. The Metro was jam-packed anyway and while standing in my limited area, I overheard a conversation of an elderly man with 2 young boys.

The boys were urging this gentleman to claim his seat reserved for elderly people. These were, in that moment, occupied by 2 men in their mid-thirties. The old uncle replied that if they vacated the seats themselves, that would be nice, for he didn't like asking people - that would make him feel weak and needy.

Now, one of these men got up because it was his station next. I edged forward to make space for him to find his way to the exit. The one who was going to sit in this recently vacated seat, thought that I wanted the seat, so he let me sit. I refused initially, urging him to sit, but he insisted, so I gladly took it. GIVING 1.

It had been less than 15 seconds that I had relaxed myself into the seat, when I realised I was sitting on one reserved for old people. I remembered what that old guy had said, so I sought him out in the crowd and insisted that he sit. GIVING 2.

It had again been less than 15 seconds that I vacated the seat, when this old uncle got up and gave his seat to a lady in her early fifties. GIVING 3.

When I saw this, I smiled to myself. I realised that what they say about food, is also true for seats. Morsels and seats come with names written on them. It is pure luck and destiny that you are getting to enjoy them.

And then I got mock-mad at myself for giving the seat to that old guy.

1 seat, 3 people to relinquish it for the next one, 1 beneficiary. All in less than a minute in a very crowded Metro.

Amusing.

Unwanted Umbrella

When someone rejects your umbrella, it could be because he doesn't need help. Or because he doesn't need YOUR help.

In either case, go for your self-respect. Tell yourself you hold a very magical umbrella. You embody love when you hold it.

Bless the one who rejected your love. May he find love wherever else he is looking - if he is seeking at all. If not, good luck to him anyway.

The fact that you offered is a big deal.

The rejection is not about your being bad or insufficient. It is about someone not being receptive. And that is OKAY.

Ruby's First Exam

Meghu and I had decided to conduct Ruby's first exam in English ever since we began teaching her in October this year. I formulated the test which involved picture recognition, action verbs, Hindi equivalents of English words, English equivalents of Hindi words, recognition of colours and a free recall test. Altogether a total of 50 marks.

She scored 86%, and the difficulty level was set to 'easy'. I saw her make very silly mistakes, and at the same time brilliantly recall some rather difficult things. I think she could have done better, nonetheless.

We had already decided to take Ruby and her sister out for a movie and a visit to a mall (they have never had this experience yet), but that didn't work out due to various dynamics. And then we considered the point that her rewards can become bigger as she learns more and more and performs better over time.

So we gift-wrapped a cool stylish handbag, a notebook and 3 colour pens to egg her on for studying more.  We told her these would be her study materials, that she must get these every day to be able to write new words.

She has been 'forgetting' to do this, and I am not quite happy about it. We might have unwittingly been very lenient with her, and so been being taken for granted. But it is not about us, it is about her education. I am realising that education is not just gaining knowledge. It is also learning healthy and helpful attitudes in life. It is time to teach Ruby a bit more about gratitude and respect.

Distributing Warmth

Asked Meghu yesterday how he wanted to celebrate Christmas this year. He mentioned distributing those sweaters that my uncle had given for Project WinterWarmth. That dozen of sweaters had been lying about for a couple weeks now. Good idea, I thought.

Because the day turned out to be such, we could give away only 4 sweaters, BUT WE DID!

We gave them away to some slum dwellers a distance away from home. It was interesting. We didn't have a big bag, but we were just about to get off our cycle-rickshaw, when slum people came racing and started to swarm us. I didn't know WHAT made them know why we were there. But they were right.

I had seen a girl in a sleeveless dress in such cold, and decided she could have one of the sweaters. Then there was a mother with a child on her hip who wasn't wearing any sweater either. We had only 4 sweaters and people were already thronging us. So I had to surprise them and have them back off. Told them there was nothing to distribute.

Just then as they were receding, embarrassed about how they got fooled, a big car pulled up inches ahead of us, and the whole group crowded it. They started opening the doors and the storage trunk of the car. Turned out there was a group to donate food today. 3 adults came out, and strictly insisted that everyone form a line to receive whatever it was they had got. 

When they were more disciplined and their attention was away from us, we found the 2 candidates for the sweaters and gave it to them, insisted that they wear it right away. 2 more were left, which Meghu handed over to those whom he thought to be deserving. 

We finished in less than 5 minutes. Meghu was highly disappointed. He loves 'connecting' with people, which means have a conversation with them, understand about their life and hardships and feel a bond of sorts in the end. But these slum dwellers didn't seem interested. 

They were, and I had expected this after numerous experiences with such groups, only motivated to receive. They came running, with big expectant smiles and an odd cheekiness. As if they had the right to be poor and enjoy such treats from 'well-to-do' people. They didn't look like they were in a sorry state.

This left a bad taste in my mouth. While people need to cultivate an attitude to give, people also need to unlearn the habit of just receiving.

And then, Meghu's admirable friend Vikanshu who was accompanying us commented, "There is no dearth of people who give."

That seemed so contradictory to what I have always believed. But it also felt bitterly true too....... I have yet to process it fully.

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P.S: This Uncle who has given us the sweaters is currently hospitalised. Has been diagnosed with 3 blockages and will under-go a by-pass surgery on Friday. I hope the people who got the sweaters really feel warm and send blessings for him.

Goals 2013

What do I want 2013 to bring me?

1. I want to be an excellent Helen O' Grady teacher. I know I have got it in me. Even if I didn't do anything special, I would still end up being above average easily. But I want to be excellent.

2. An additional source of income generated through 2 hours of work investment in the evenings. This is to supplement the meagre HOG income, to replenish our personal savings, to feel abundant again.

3. A trip down south. To Hyderabad (and Vizag-Vizianagram for a day or two). And a couple of trips to Mumbai. I miss my hometown :(

4. I want to be owning a chest of drawers and a scooty. Second-hand is fine (OLX rocks). It will be a grand thing if a wooden partition is also found to be affordable this year.

5. Gather policy premium amount for 2017 and make a Fixed Deposit of it to see it mature in time :)

I think these are damn neat goals, and I can see some of them even materialising already!

I actually AM cool. There's no denying that!

Gratitude to strengthen my Umbrella

I know this : You can't give to others if your own cup is empty. As 2012 is ending (but the world has not ended) I realise that many salient things/ events happened to fill my cup considerably! They are the following:

1. This new house that I live in. We live here on rent, but so feels like HOME!! Aw, I am in Love with this new space!

2. The new system I set up to run the household very effectively. The credit is shared with Ruby and Meghu equally.

3. Meghu's attitudinal transformation. He has now made mammoth deposits in my heart, and I feel very loved. I admire him for the shift, and love every gesture he is making towards being a great husband.

4. The job I have recently found. The salary it brings helps us run the household, even if it is insufficient. It helps us keep our personal savings intact.

5. Limited workload. I am SO thankful about this one.

6. The Rotimaker that Mom-Dad gifted us for our first wedding anniversary. It has made life easy, ensured we eat at home, eat healthy AND save money.

7. The very generous cash gifts we received at our second wedding reception. It averted the rough phase we could have gone through until my first salary came by. Can't thank enough for this one.

8. My haircut. The length is so short now, doing my hair is quick and easy. Saves time, maintenance is cool too!

9. Trips planned and successfully completed. Karwar, Mumbai, Ladakh and Chandigarh.

10. The washing machine and air conditioner we bought. Big deals!! (A big hug to my Haier WM).

I am feeling so cool about myself!

Aborting Project WinterWarmth?

There have been 2 synchronicities last week with respect to Project WinterWarmth. 

I noticed that a temple close by is already distributing free blankets to the needy, and a friend shared the details of a Drive conducted by an organisation in South Delhi to donate winter wear to street kids.

Learning about these 2 has made it easier for me to let go of my project. I have dropped my interest and commitment to it largely, and pursuing it will only be a forced action. I think I will get in touch with the Organization and drop those sweaters there (or have someone collect them from my place, preferably), and check with the Temple if they need volunteers for a day or so to distribute the blankets.

I have lost interest in this suddenly...as I am moving through a small phase that requires that I pay more attention to myself. This might also be just an excuse. I am not aware. But my Umbrella will have a limited reach for some time now.

Kind Deeds_Recently Part 2

1. Relieved Ruby of duties and tasks considering her having fallen ill recently.

2. Protected a woman from falling from a van.

3. Lent the office peon some money,  while he awaited his salary.

4. Paid special attention to that little child who rushed to me to show her math workbook. She is bright.

5. Gave away my seat to an old lady in the Metro. Got one immediately thereafter.

The Fate of Gifts Made to Me

I know many people who are sentimental about gifts they receive and give. I personally am a bit practical about gifts.

I check them for their usefulness and relevance to me. If they are something I have really wanted, I keep them, use them almost immediately. Those that aren't my taste, size or of general requirement, I am most likely to pass them on to others, for 2 reasons:

1. I do not like hoarding. I see that as an arrest of energy. I want to keep very few things I think I will use in the future. The rest I just want to dispose off.
2. These objects might actually be of service to others!

Now, the feelings behind these gifts are very nice, I allow them to touch me, I accept those with gratitude. But the objects themselves can meet different fates. I want people to know that this is what will happen if they made gifts to me. There will be a good chance that the gift will be transferred to someone else in case I decide I won't use it. If they are okay with it, they may continue buying stuff without consulting me. But for those whose sentiments will be hurt, I suggest you give me cash or gift vouchers or better still, just ask me for my wishlist and see if you could contribute there.

I prefer the latter the most.

Fantastic Plastic

I am not against the use of plastic bags. I think they are just cool. At least thick and durable ones, with a high rate of microns.

Paper bags tear easily, and the trees that went into making them eventually get wasted. Cloth bags need to be washed regularly which entails usage of more water and soap. I think it is better for the environment if we used plastic effectively, that way we might just save the planet more trees and water.

Use plastic bags over and over again. Wipe them clean if required. But ensure optimal use of its durability. Use torn paper bags to create compost for organic gardening. Or see if they can be used as tissue anywhere.    

Find ways to use things to their last shred before you head for the trashcan. Resources are not scarce, they are limited. We can not and must not WASTE.
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TIP: Use old discoloured hair clips as snack-bag clips to keep your snacks fresh and crisp.

Update on Project WinterWarmth

During my trip to Mumbai, I visited an uncle I knew who would help. He has been distributing blankets to the needy since the 80's. I approached him for sponsorship and tips. He is thrilled to hear about my intention and supports it. As a gesture, he has given me 12 sweaters to distribute in Delhi. He might sponsor a chunk of the blankets I intend to donate this winter.

For the remaining, I might solicit donations on Facebook, or websites where projects and undertakings get funding from people who are convinced of the vision behind the project.

I regret in my heart that the sweaters have been lying around since 3-4 days, but I have been tied up. I also have yet to find out the wholesale rate of these blankets and calculate the funds required. I have to find a supplier.

Kind Deeds_Recently

1. Saved a baby-squirrel from getting squashed.
2. Spoke lovingly to a naughty child to understand his behavioural problem and see if he could be helped.
3. Let an elderly aunty use my lower berth in the train.
4. Offered a lift to someone I easily could have ignored.
5. Refused to accept a leather bag gift. Accepted the emotion behind it, though.
6. Arranged a surprise for Meghu :) I am happy that I got it all right.
7. Gave Prema a pair of earphones he so wanted.
8. Took out time to find books for a colleague to read in leisure time.