Some Updates

1. One of my micro-goals this year is to donate blood. Meghu and I were going to do it together so that I would have his moral support. But the other day, I saw an opportunity right where I was, and philosophised that maybe I am Meant to donate blood without Meghu by my side so that I can face my fear completely.

But it so happened that the doctor in the van looked at my palm and my eyes and pronounced that my haemoglobin level wasn't enough for donating blood. I gaped at him, how could he be so sure without doing an actual test?! I tried to reason with him that I have been fine lately, although earlier I had been put on iron supplements etc.

He politely refused. I got down disappointed, and met another staff outside the van, who insisted I do a test. There were two pathologists at the rear end of the van who would help me. They did the test, and said the same thing. My HB level was not enough.

I could not donate blood, and the doctor was a genius.

2. The last sweater was donated by Meghu to an old beggar lady the same day as my blood donation disappointment.

3. I did make my feelings known to Ruby after all. She came cheekily, trying to make small talk, but I was in no mood. I found an opportunity to talk when Meghu was out for a few minutes. We didn't teach her that day, on my decision. She did apologise but I let my angry demeanour be, for her to remember long enough to avoid such breaches of trust.

It worked. Next few days I was away when she came to work. Meghu taught her, but she kept enquiring if I my anger had extinguished. She went beyond her usual tasks and pro-actively did more jobs around the house to assuage me, perhaps. Even today came with an opportunity for her to demonstrate loyalty. What her mother told me today about her has helped me rekindle my trust in Ruby, her mother and her sister.

I hope this bond remains. And also the understanding that we will not take each other for granted.

4. Meghu and I had a massive fight lately, the consequences of which have been shameful. We have quickly taken corrective action, but the shame has not left me. Anger really IS just a little short of danger. It possesses you in no time, if you don't control the first feelers of it. It makes you inhuman. It makes you an animal.

I vow to never repeat what I did that day.

5. The TED talk that Nipun Mehta gave is not leaving my head. Something profound has been communicated simply and effortlessly. It has made me cry. And I am still figuring out what part has he touched to make me cry.

6. I love OLX and I love TED Talks as well.

7. I have urged Ruby's mother to send her sister Neeraj to study as well. I was told that Neeraj is shy, but she knows us well, so she can drop the inhibition. Plus she has been writing in Ruby's notebook, thereby expressing a desire to learn. And finally, if two sisters of similar ages study together, there might come a healthy competitiveness between them which will egg each of them to study harder, even if only to outdo the other one :)

8. In the wake of the Delhi rape case, our housing society here had organised a self-defence training for kids and women. I participated for just 1 day and am happy with my decision. I do feel empowered and confident. Thanks to the organisers.

Should one discriminate?

I had been talking to an older cousin, and I happened to ask a question which I didn't intend to be threatening. In other words, if I were asked this question by her, I wouldn't think much before answering it, since there's so much trust established between us.

But she chose not to reply. Maybe it was a sensitive issue to her, maybe she didn't trust me enough. I didn't press her, I instead tackled the point why I asked her what I did. She replied to that. We carried on with the conversation normally, but within me, I was instantly hurt.

I was hurt because she chose to withhold information from me. What was she thinking? That I would know more about her than she wants me to? That I might misuse the information? That I might become a competitor to her?

I don't see her as that. She has called me umpteen number of times for help, and I have always made time for her, for I like her, trust her, admire her. And from how she has been to me, I also saw love and I was touched. It was her affectionate ways towards me that made me trust her more recently. And I have never felt the need to not tell her anything. In fact, she was one of the first few ones in the family whom I told about Meghu. If I could trust her with that sensitive a piece of information, she could have shown trust in me too.

I am hurt that she is so secretive. That she may harbour thoughts that I, of all the people, would misuse her. I wish her prosperity and happiness. And I am not one of those who noses into other people's business to just be able to gossip later or make schemes.

I am hurt because I believed what she thinks of me. I can choose to not believe! and I very well can, because I KNOW how purely I feel for her. I will never ever threaten her, make her feel insecure. She is my sister.

So the point is, she denied me a tiny space under her umbrella, while she's enjoyed herself under mine. Just because she is weak within and so failed to trust me, does not mean that I must deny her mine. Maybe she needs even more love from me, even more demonstration of how I can share with her, how secure I feel within myself to be able to do that. Maybe that will eventually make her put the guards down.

In the meantime, I can hold my umbrella for her, contrary to how I reacted "I won't help her any more" immediately as I was talking to her. I forgive her. I won't ask questions that she may perceive as probing. In fact, I needn't go beyond pleasantries. I can share about myself though.

Because a banyan tree gives the same shade and rest to a robber as to an honest businessman. It does not discriminate. Because it is magnanimous, and because it is beyond insecurity. A robber's immorality is too petty to corrupt the banyan tree's shade.

I forgive you, Sister. I pray that the pain in your heart which makes you insecure and defensive, leave you. I hope my spirit and my love are helpful.

Sometimes the vibe is not right

Meghu finally got the Smile Cards he had requested from helpothers.org. Cool place that one, says Meghu.

Before we went to buy the chest of drawers, we had lunch out at a restaurant and Meghu had decided to pay for one of the tables as a surprise to the guest eating there. We would pay his bill and leave (so that the act remained anonymous), and the waiter would bring him a SMILE CARD instead which urged him to make someone else happy now that he was pleasantly surprised that someone else had paid for him! And when he did an anonymous deed of kindness, he would leave this card behind for the beneficiary to carry on with the game.

Lovely idea. We tried. But our waiter was very hesitant. I suggested that Meghu talk to the cashier instead, but Meghu was put off by then. He felt that such a thing should not require convincing. Only excitement to see the face of this other patron (only the waiter would, because we would have to be gone by then) who has been pleasantly surprised.

So well, Meghu couldn't carry out what he planned, but he will soon enough. His next book is called the Kindness Project : D

Receiving Gracefully

Meghu and I were midway through our lunch when the doorbell rung. I found a well-dressed woman who wanted some donation for the J&K victims of a bomb blast. I requested her to come a little later since we were having lunch then. The woman insisted thrice. I wasn't liking it, but since I am assertive, I didn't budge. I told her to come LAY-TER. She wasn't understanding, said she would visit houses upstairs and come again (which would take her around 5 minutes, I calculated). I was feeling pressurised.

I had decided in my heart that her behaviour wasn't evoking any sympathy from me. She wasn't requesting for help, she was demanding. But I kept my thoughts to myself, returned to my meal and told Meghu who it was.

To my surprise, Meghu had already given some donation a week ago to these very people. He knows that I don't like to help in cash, but kind. So he reassured me that he gave 50 bucks after a long 15 minute interview with a young man who was soliciting funds. This young man wasn't grateful, he immediately told Meghu that others had given 500 bucks, and that rubbed Meghu the wrong way. Meghu was happy giving him 50, but if the guy wasn't he could very well return those 50.

Now, this woman did come in 5 minutes, and Meghu answered the bell this time. He explained that a donation was already made, so she could try elsewhere. She insisted, she started telling us about their plight, some orphaned children etc. As soon as she mentioned kids, we realised we could give her some sweaters. She didn't feel happy about that. We were already feeling pushed, and now she added disappointment to it. She went on with her pressurising. She made some rude remarks, which made Meghu take back even the Sweater-offer. To which she started telling us how we were not good people, how we had everything and were still not willing to help. I think she mentioned 'God' also somewhere.

I felt Meghu didn't need to be hearing all that, so we had to close the door in her face. We resumed our lunch conversation normally, but I have been disturbed ever since.

Meghu and I have discussed Giving at length. We have realised that:

1. Only JOYFUL GIVING is true giving. If you didn't feel good, overjoyed, peaceful or silent after your act of kindness, that kindness has gone down the drain.

2. Joyful Giving comes 2 situations : if you gave without being asked to AND if your answer to a solicitation of help was received gracefully.

3. Giving does not end in itself. The way it is received makes a lot of difference in how YOU feel after giving, whether you will give again, and the size of your generosity in general.

4. People who receive ARE in some way being rescued from a difficult situation. They must have humility, politeness and gratitude in their manner. If they are cheeky, rude, demanding and pushy, they are confirming their belief that they are entitled to other people's help. That others better yield or else......! Such individuals won't go very far in their cause.

On second thoughts, everyone should be humble, polite and grateful. Even people who are in the giving position.

5. Giving purely is not enough. Giving intelligently is what is required. Use your discretion amply. Don't criticise yourself for denying help to someone who was asking but not deserving. That is the reason why helping a friend copy in examinations is not good. Such giving is NOT GOOD.

6. Give to empower. Avoid giving that encourages dependency. That help is not real help. Just as they say :
Give a hungry man a fish, feed him for a day; teach him how to fish, feed him for a lifetime.
If that means you will take a whole year to gather enough resources for empowering someone, and therefore won't have resources for helping others in small ways; so be it. Better to empower one than to make ten dependent.

Meghu and I are still discussing intermittently. Looks like there's tons to learn about having a generous heart.

When Giving goes Viral

Meghu has talked about this to me. I have seen a few videos on this before. It is about how someone can start a chain reaction of giving.

I unwittingly participated in one in a short episode on the Delhi Metro a few weeks ago.

After work, I had just boarded the Metro back home, quite tired, frustrated and irritated. It was a peak hour and I wasn't hoping to find a seat. The Metro was jam-packed anyway and while standing in my limited area, I overheard a conversation of an elderly man with 2 young boys.

The boys were urging this gentleman to claim his seat reserved for elderly people. These were, in that moment, occupied by 2 men in their mid-thirties. The old uncle replied that if they vacated the seats themselves, that would be nice, for he didn't like asking people - that would make him feel weak and needy.

Now, one of these men got up because it was his station next. I edged forward to make space for him to find his way to the exit. The one who was going to sit in this recently vacated seat, thought that I wanted the seat, so he let me sit. I refused initially, urging him to sit, but he insisted, so I gladly took it. GIVING 1.

It had been less than 15 seconds that I had relaxed myself into the seat, when I realised I was sitting on one reserved for old people. I remembered what that old guy had said, so I sought him out in the crowd and insisted that he sit. GIVING 2.

It had again been less than 15 seconds that I vacated the seat, when this old uncle got up and gave his seat to a lady in her early fifties. GIVING 3.

When I saw this, I smiled to myself. I realised that what they say about food, is also true for seats. Morsels and seats come with names written on them. It is pure luck and destiny that you are getting to enjoy them.

And then I got mock-mad at myself for giving the seat to that old guy.

1 seat, 3 people to relinquish it for the next one, 1 beneficiary. All in less than a minute in a very crowded Metro.

Amusing.

Unwanted Umbrella

When someone rejects your umbrella, it could be because he doesn't need help. Or because he doesn't need YOUR help.

In either case, go for your self-respect. Tell yourself you hold a very magical umbrella. You embody love when you hold it.

Bless the one who rejected your love. May he find love wherever else he is looking - if he is seeking at all. If not, good luck to him anyway.

The fact that you offered is a big deal.

The rejection is not about your being bad or insufficient. It is about someone not being receptive. And that is OKAY.

Distributing Warmth

Asked Meghu yesterday how he wanted to celebrate Christmas this year. He mentioned distributing those sweaters that my uncle had given for Project WinterWarmth. That dozen of sweaters had been lying about for a couple weeks now. Good idea, I thought.

Because the day turned out to be such, we could give away only 4 sweaters, BUT WE DID!

We gave them away to some slum dwellers a distance away from home. It was interesting. We didn't have a big bag, but we were just about to get off our cycle-rickshaw, when slum people came racing and started to swarm us. I didn't know WHAT made them know why we were there. But they were right.

I had seen a girl in a sleeveless dress in such cold, and decided she could have one of the sweaters. Then there was a mother with a child on her hip who wasn't wearing any sweater either. We had only 4 sweaters and people were already thronging us. So I had to surprise them and have them back off. Told them there was nothing to distribute.

Just then as they were receding, embarrassed about how they got fooled, a big car pulled up inches ahead of us, and the whole group crowded it. They started opening the doors and the storage trunk of the car. Turned out there was a group to donate food today. 3 adults came out, and strictly insisted that everyone form a line to receive whatever it was they had got. 

When they were more disciplined and their attention was away from us, we found the 2 candidates for the sweaters and gave it to them, insisted that they wear it right away. 2 more were left, which Meghu handed over to those whom he thought to be deserving. 

We finished in less than 5 minutes. Meghu was highly disappointed. He loves 'connecting' with people, which means have a conversation with them, understand about their life and hardships and feel a bond of sorts in the end. But these slum dwellers didn't seem interested. 

They were, and I had expected this after numerous experiences with such groups, only motivated to receive. They came running, with big expectant smiles and an odd cheekiness. As if they had the right to be poor and enjoy such treats from 'well-to-do' people. They didn't look like they were in a sorry state.

This left a bad taste in my mouth. While people need to cultivate an attitude to give, people also need to unlearn the habit of just receiving.

And then, Meghu's admirable friend Vikanshu who was accompanying us commented, "There is no dearth of people who give."

That seemed so contradictory to what I have always believed. But it also felt bitterly true too....... I have yet to process it fully.

__________________________________________

P.S: This Uncle who has given us the sweaters is currently hospitalised. Has been diagnosed with 3 blockages and will under-go a by-pass surgery on Friday. I hope the people who got the sweaters really feel warm and send blessings for him.

Holding Umbrellas over Each Other

I am very excited about my trip to Mumbai, my hometown. I finally have confirmed tickets, thanks to the Tatkal quota of the very amazing Indian Railways. But getting Tatkal tickets is not an easy job.

Booking online failed, so we had to go to the nearest railway station the next day. Tatkal booking opens at sharp 10 am all over India, but the tickets are all exhausted in the first 10 minutes. It is all way too risky. People start forming a queue at the railway station gate from 4 am onwards! When we heard that, we were in disbelief - 6 hours of standing in a queue?! But we wanted our tickets anyhow and decided to take the advice seriously.

We are not regretting. When Meghu and I reached the Delhi Cantonment Railway Station at 4:10 am, we learnt that there were 2 queues, one for ladies and one for men. I thanked myself for deciding to accompany Meghu, because I turned out to be second in the ladies' queue! At what time did the first lady arrive? 3 am.

And the men? Meghu had 7 guys ahead of him. 5 of them had reached the station at 8 pm the previous night, and spread a sheet and slept out on the ground only.

Getting Tatkal tickets is seriously a grand struggle. The probability of getting a ticket, the wait time, the unnatural hours at which you must queue up....... and the weather.

Delhi winters are killing. I was wearing a monkey cap, gloves, woollen stole, sweater, jacket and socks. And was still shivering. My body is still hurting from having to pass those 6 hours in such cold! Plus, no place to sit.

None. I had anticipated that Meghu and I would take turns to stand in the queue. But we ended up standing in 2 different ones, and there was not a single bench in sight. I was equipped with winterwear, but I wasn't carrying anything to sit on! The woman after me had luckily brought an old durrie. She spread it on the ground and happily shared it with me and the first lady. She also had her 3 year old son bravely withstanding the cold. I was so touched and in admiration. She shared her Umbrella with us... How much ever she could.

Then she wanted to go to the loo. She left her son in the first lady's care, who literally took the child in her lap, covered him with her shawl, held him close to her bosom like a mother would, and tried to pacify him as he woke up to find out that his mummy was gone. She rocked him, cajoled him, and eventually took him to the mother in the loo. ...... Now she had opened her Umbrella.

This first lady had also shared her story with me, invited me to sit on the durrie, given very helpful information about the Tatkal Procedure, and when THE moment at the counter came, she helped me count out cash quickly so that I wouldn't delay other people in the queue (every second is crucial).

And I was watching all the time how in harsh conditions too, some human beings choose to keep their humanity and have generous hearts. That was touching. For my part, I was struggling with the cold and lack of sleep most of the time. But I took my opportunities too. Shared my biscuits with both ladies, played with the child, assisted the first lady to find the right counter, and when the whole hall was crowded, we brought her out safely after we had bought our tickets. Then Meghu suggested we keep her company while she waited for her husband to get tickets and come out (both had to be buying tickets, they were a largish family). She was touched too.

Everybody had been helping each other, and sharing others' joy of getting confirmed tickets. It was such a heartwarming experience. I am humbled by the love flowing between complete strangers. I have yet to let this love flow so freely through me. I have so much learn.

I will never undergo this Tatkal Trial ever again, at least I don't want to endure the wait. But I am thankful that the whole experience was rewarding - I got the tickets I so badly wanted, and I saw Love in action.

I have learnt today that when we see others give selflessly, compassion in us can get switched on too. Vicariously or directly. You try to reciprocate the gesture, you end up giving more, and happily so. Then the other one responds. And before you know, a cycle of giving freely has started. It is immensely joyful.

Kind Deeds_21 Nov.2012

My belittling negative self-talk has been around for many years now, consistently eroding my self-esteem. It will take time and consistent effort then to change it.

This blog will also be my portal to learning positive self-talk.

I want to mention my kind deeds daily for 2 reasons:
1. To give tangible proof to myself that I am good at heart. I have a heart and it is filled with love. Lots of love, like a sponge that is dripping with water.
2. To encourage me to expand an already giving heart, by holding thoughts of goodness and kindness which will translate to acts of giving.

Today:
1. I prayed and wished earnestly in my heart that my senior conceive soon. She's been wanting to, for long now.
2. I also explored the possibility of counseling an emotionally starved child who is engaging in disruptive attention seeking behaviour at a school I go to for observership.
3. I also complimented 2 children for an excellent narration of how they spent their Diwali holidays, and enquired after another child who seems deeper and more intense than his classmates, who writes poetry and perhaps needs a mentor.
4. I spoke to the kids about why bursting crackers is not responsible behaviour.
5. I always thank my students for being a nice class, regardless of how they actually were. Because I want them to know that I care about all of us having a disciplined, fun and meaningful class, and that they are important to me.
6. I have been kind, understanding and loving to Meghu despite my own pain.

An Unexpected Start to Project WinterWarmth

Yesterday was a rotten day. By the end of it, I was emotionally bruised and very tired. I was craving warmth, affection and comfort. Meghu and I were returning home from a late dinner on a cycle rickshaw, with me feeling unloved, disrespected and violated. Heavy feelings, these!

Obviously I wasn't expecting to reach out to anyone this day! But just as we were nearing home, I noticed that my rickshaw man was wearing just a thin shirt in such cold weather. The moment I saw an opportunity to expand my umbrella, my mind was off my sadness temporarily. We reached our destination and paid him. Then I asked him why he wasn't wearing a sweater..Was he not feeling cold? He replied saying he forgot to bring, and then muttered that he will buy one soon. I don't know what the truth was, but I knew it was very cold in that moment, and he didn't have much to keep himself warm.

I asked him if he could wait a couple of minutes, I could get him a sweater. Meghu and I were excited, we could infuse a bad day with some Light! So we found him a spare sweater (one of Meghu's that's perfectly warm, but for the 'bubbling' on its surface). I also took him a pair of hand-gloves.

When we finally presented him those, and he had worn his new sweater immediately, I think all 3 of us were too overwhelmed to speak much. He tried to thank, and we could manage a bye. But there was such an unexpected goodness in the moment, none of us had anticipated that we will get an opportunity to bring someone under the Umbrella, and he will get a sweater.

On reflection, I feel that this was the Universe's trailer to show me that I was on the right track with my intention of Project WinterWarmth!

:)

Work done on some ideas

Begin with Ruby. Her brother is very controlling, and has never let her go to movies or malls. To see what the world outside is like. I have already gifted her new clothes, I can now take her and Neeraj (her sister) out for a movie. Meghu loves the idea.

We basically want to take them out to a movie they are likely to enjoy, treat them to refreshments, and then take them to a shopping mall to window shop. But I am cautious of the young girls thinking that Meghu and I are here to pamper and spoil them. I don't want to encourage that, so we will put it as her reward for doing well in her English test, which we will set her in late December. That way she will have EARNED this outing.

We will begin to teach her short sentences January 2013 onwards, once she has a fair collection of English vocabulary. She is a quick learner and Meghu feels that within a year of being with us, she will be speaking quite well! We will teach her the alphabet in the summer of 2013.

Another plan I have for her, is that I want to put aside a sum in her name every year and build a fund which she can use when we eventually part (I am already fearing the possibility of her getting married and going away from us). We might buy her something useful with that money.

Then I have worked on my WinterWarmth Project. I experienced the severe Delhi winters for the first time last year. And I was in disbelief. How could it get that cold?! I would shiver under 2 blankets with my socks and gloves and sweaters over me, in a room with a heater on! That is when it occurred to me that people on the streets must perhaps be dying of cold.........

So I decided last year, and will execute this year the idea of distributing free blankets to homeless people in Delhi. I want to start with 100 people. I have an uncle in Mumbai who is very likely to sponsor the blankets. I will approach my neighbours to lend their car, and I don't think they will say no. And their children will only be too excited to help. I will soon have a Wallet and a Workforce for Project WinterWarmth.

I am thrilled and can hardly wait :)

Ruby is truly a gem (pun intended)

Ruby is my domestic help. My third one in New Delhi. My best one in life.

She is young, happy-go-lucky and docile. She has been working at my place since 1 and half months now, and I am so blessed to have her. But I am also grateful for the decision that I want to have a long-term alliance with her. That helped me treat her differently from how I have been dealing with my previous maidservants.

And even as I write this, I am finding it awkward to refer to her as my maid. Because we have taken such liking, respect and responsibility for each other, that she feels like family.

Maids are an indispensable wheel in the machinery of Indian households. They are the backbone of housekeeping, and if you have an efficient one, a huge part of your worries has vanished. And yet, in India, it is very common to find employers and domestic helpers hold grudges against each other. The employers feel that they pay so much and yet have to bear tantrums from the D.H, while the latter fear being squeezed the juice out of, and basically exploited.

So, trust definitely does not exist in such relationships. Little appreciation from the Es and little conscientiousness from the D.Hs. A cycle of dissatisfaction and sadness on both sides.

I have suffered, and I assume my maids must have too. But before I took Ruby on, I decided to do things differently. To do them the way Stephen Covey suggests. To build trust, to see the relationship beyond what it represents, to respect the humanness of an employee and to work for it as though it were going to last a lifetime, much like family.

And I have succeeded. Compliments, polite corrective feedback, taking interest in her life, sharing my own with her, delegating tasks and trusting she will do them right - has gone a looooooong way! Plus Meghu and I have undertaken to teach her English everyday. She tells us she hasn't had employers like us. Her mother says we are her favourites. She demonstrates extra loyalty to us over others who have employed her. She loves her English words. And I think, she loves us too :)

We are more than happy. I am thrilled that I have successfully forged a beautiful relationship with my helper. That the whole concept actually works, and how! That she has accepted us to such a depth, that she completes additional tasks without being asked to, apart from perfectly executing already delegated ones. She wants to impress, she wants to keep the love coming to her. And she frees my mental space drastically for other endeavours.

She is one blessing I can't be thankful enough for.

Her being excited to come to work everyday, chat with us, share with us, get educated leaves a very meaningful and satisfied feeling in our hearts. Then we too want to overdeliver. We have happily given her Diwali gifts beyond her expectation. We are taking her English education seriously. Meghu helps her revise EVERYDAY while I am at work. We never deny her leaves.

Our cycle of giving freely has begun. We are only joyed to see each other everyday. I love this relationship!!

Confirmation from the Subconscious/Unconscious

Thought about my projects and ideas till 4:30am. Let those ideas churn in my head. Slept. Had 2 dreams.

1. I was a part of a massive revolution, at risk of dying, but leading a large group nonetheless. Not an iota of fear. No aggression either. Just immense faith in the mission and an ocean of calmness. We knew we were at the brink of something that would change the world. I was being interviewed on the go. Was at a field, those were pre-dawn hours, the sky was still blue..there were Mashaals (Torches) and people were quietly preparing. There was courage, faith and selflessness. There was Peace too.

2. Meghu and I were perhaps directing a movie. We had assistant directors, but I was aware that Meghu and I were just 100% compatible. He knew exactly how I wanted things without me uttering even a word. I knew how Meghu thought. And to top it all, we saw things the same way. Knowing that Meghu and I were just 100% compatible was giving me a sense of immense satisfaction and reassurance.

I slept for 6 hours which isn't sufficient for me. But I woke up in a good mood, without a headache, which is unusual.

I think my dreams mirrored what I had been thinking about through the previous night. And I am pleased to find that it has perfectly understood what my conscious mind intended to do. Which means my decisions have seeped through well, and hopefully there won't be much discord within :) My subconscious also showed me how I will 'feel' after I have worked on my lessons of giving freely.

I will feel satisfied and peaceful. And that is all I have been seeking.

I must be on the right path.

My Spiritual Umbrella

I have a hint that my current life-lessons are all about growing horizontally. Expanding, connecting, reaching out. GIVING.

Some time in the past I shut myself as a reaction to feeling cheated and being taken for granted. I need not stop helping, I only need to learn to be more discerning. To know who truly needs and values help, and then go and reach out to them.

This is about focussing a lot of my attention to release excessive control and worry, to drop excuses of scarcity and lack of time and actually deliberately expand my power to help people.

These are the ideas I want to work on:
1. Project WinterWarmth
2. Treat for Ruby and Neeraj
3. Ongoing training for Ruby
4. Awareness about recycling resources - especially paper
5. Awareness about consumption of honey
6. Awareness about Organic Gardening
7. Awareness about saving electricity
8. Blood Donation
9. Spread the word about that 'giving shop' in Ahmedabad
10. Find a point of contact in Ahmedabad who can receive and drop gifts from people all over India/ World to that shop
11. Explore the possibility of opening such a shop in Delhi
12. Volunteer or teach a course at Tihar Jail
13. Give gifts to those 2 kids
14. Suggest to people the idea of carrying small biscuit packets while travelling, to give to hungry beggars, instead of change.

Earnestly want to expand the size of my Spiritual Umbrella.